Be your own cup of tea <3

Why do people always feel they have to be liked by everyone? This is something I’ve spent a lot of time pondering lately, whether it be my dating chronicles, or people being upset over IG/Social Media. Even at my highest weight, I was never offended by someone who told me I wasn’t their type. Let me throw this out there in the most blunt way I know how….NOBODY is EVER going to be everyone’s type. Ever. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. Not being someone’s type, or cup of tea has nothing to do with your self-worth, your intelligence, your sense of humor, or even your level of attractiveness. What floats one boat might sink another and it’s not a personal affront to be told you would be a metaphorical anchor.

I know personally that I have a type. I have always gone for more athletic guys with leaner or more muscular bodies. Preferred height (because I am tall), and a smile that can light up a room.  Does that mean I haven’t dated other types or that I can’t find other types attractive? Of course not. Does that mean that other men are LESS because they are not what sexually does it for me? Of course not!! In that same token, I might be too tall, or to fat, or any number of things and it’s what makes the world go ‘round.

How boring would life be if everyone thought everyone else was perfect. Our differences are what makes us incredible! The fact that when you connect with someone on both a physical and emotional level is special….is special for a reason. Because chemistry and connection don’t just happen with anyone (unless you are a super drunk frat boy haha JK).

Embrace the rejection. Embrace that someone might scroll past your photo and not like it. Be ok with the fact that maybe your look isn’t what grabs someone because I am sure you’ve done the same. Nobody should troll your photos or say nasty things, but if you put yourself out there on social media or in the dating world…. you’re open for rejection. I have learned this time and time again. There are plenty of times where I post a photo on IG and it does terribly. I will get half the number of likes that I usually do vs other photos. Do I get upset, or think I’m ugly? Of course not, because I’m the same girl regardless. I own who I am. Own who you are. Own the rejections as well as the compliments. Do I love when I get a ton of likes, hell yea! Haha. I mean, we post to be seen and to share, and I love knowing I have reached as many of you as possible. But if I don’t on that particular day, that’s ok too. That doesn’t mean I’m less worthy or less attractive all of a sudden or less liked.

Self-love really is the best love. It’s the purest and truest form of love. It comes from a place that is unshakeable. I loved myself at 360 lbs and I embraced the rejection I quite often received. If I had a dollar for how many times I heard, “but you have such a pretty face…if only you’d lose weight!” And now (although full-disclosure, rejection from a physical standpoint is less for me these days), I still embrace any rejections that might come my way as what isn’t meant to be simply won’t be!  At the end of the day I know I have a good heart, a good soul. I love deeply and passionately and will do anything for the people I love the most…and that is self-acceptance on the purest level that nobody can take from me. We are all beautiful inside and out in our very own special way, and don’t you forget it!

Much love to every single one of you,

Irena